Cockmonger's Corner
Masturbation, Aging, and Erectile Concerns

Masturbation, Aging, and Erectile Concerns

Dear Cockmonger:

I will be 70 next month. I usually need to use a Viagra or a vacuum pump system in order to get an erection, but I still enjoy masturbating, even when I’m soft. Have you ever done an article on masturbating, aging, and lack of body function? Would love to see something on that topic.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for reaching out to me. This is an important topic, and one I have not yet written about on my blog.

As we get older, our bodies change. We all know this, but many struggle with the reality of it. There are social stigmas attached to sexual health, which is why it is so important to talk about it. Many men have trouble discussing their erectile concerns, but I think we should treat it as a normal part of our conversations with each other.

Not all erectile concerns are caused by underlying health conditions, but the likelihood of this increases as we get older. Health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, low testosterone, and prostate cancer treatment are common, among others.

Especially in the case of prostate cancer, this can also affect one’s ability to ejaculate. However, erection, orgasm, and ejaculation are three different functions that don’t always occur together. At some point, I’d like to go deeper into the topic of orgasm and ejaculation, but for the sake of this article, I’m going to focus mainly on the subject of erections as they pertain to masturbation and aging.

Many guys pride themselves on their ability to obtain and sustain an erection. We associate erections with virility and manliness, but a man is not any less of a man because his penis is soft or not as hard as it used to be. We get stuck in the performance-based model of sex that focuses on erections, fucking, and ejaculation, but the truth is that sex doesn’t have to involve any of those things.

As we get older, we need to listen to the changes of our bodies and adapt our pleasure practices accordingly.

We—as men and society at large—need to redefine sex and reframe the way we think about it. Our entire body is a sex organ capable of giving us all kinds of pleasure at any age. As we get older, we need to listen to the changes of our bodies and adapt our pleasure practices accordingly.

Erections are worthy of celebration and admiration, but many overlook the pleasures of the penis in its flaccid state. Playing with your soft penis is a joy. Young boys who touch themselves innocuously and shamelessly understand this, but many adults have forgotten it. Sometimes when I’m working at the computer, I’ll tug on my foreskin just because it feels good, not because I’m trying to get hard and cum (although that does happen sometimes).

In addition to masturbating while soft, I encourage men to masturbate with other parts of their body. Many experience a great deal of orgasmic pleasure from their nipples and in the anal and perineal areas. There are many other pleasurable areas that can also be explored.

At the same time, it is also completely understandable that some may need to use different methods to help achieve an erection, and there is no shame in this.

Many men use vacuum pumps, sometimes with great success. After pumping, many will wear a cock ring or constriction ring around the base of their penis to keep it engorged for a while.

These devices are all perfectly acceptable, as long as they’re used safely and properly. It is important to understand the pros and cons (and potential risks) of these tools for your own pleasure and health.

Likewise, many find prescription drugs like Viagra and Cialis to be beneficial. Just like the other erectile assistants, it is important to make an informed decision. If you’re not sure, seek the advice of a licensed medical professional.

There are also many dubious supplements that claim to be herbal alternatives to Viagra. I don’t advise taking these unless you’re an expert herbalist and know exactly what you’re doing. At best, most of these pills are little more than a placebo effect. At worst, they could be dangerous. Again, it is a good idea to seek professional advice if you’re not sure, or avoid sketchy supplements altogether.

Getting older doesn’t have to be a death sentence for one’s pleasure, and there is no maximum age limit for masturbation.

There is a lot of misinformation about masturbation, and people believe all kinds of ridiculousness. One claim I see a lot on the internet is that masturbation causes the body to age faster, which is, of course, utter bullshit.

Masturbation is perfectly healthy at any age, and many older people find that an active sex life (solo or partnered) keeps them vibrant and vivacious. If anything, the fear and anxiety of worrying about these things is what will really age you.

Getting older doesn’t have to be a death sentence for one’s pleasure, and there is no maximum age limit for masturbation. It sounds like you, dear reader, have figured that out, and I hope we can share that message with others.

I would also like to point out that erectile concerns are not exclusively an “old person’s problem.” I’ll be 40 next year and I have experienced it on occasion. It can happen to anyone at any age for a number of reasons: depression, anxiety, exhaustion, physical trauma, certain medications, alcohol and drugs, etc.

Many professionals nowadays are using the term “erectile disappointment” to refer to a temporary and perhaps milder circumstance of boner misfortune, as opposed to “erectile dysfunction,” which is associated with more severe underlying health conditions.

I use the term erectile concerns for all of it, because no matter the reason, mild to severe, it all concerns our erections, and that’s an important part of being a penis-bearing individual.

Appreciate your penis and your whole body in all of its states and stages, through all the ages and changes of your life. You might as well enjoy your body while you’ve got it. As long as you can still experience pleasure, you’re still alive. Love yourself, enjoy yourself, and celebrate yourself.

Disclaimer: Cockmonger’s Corner is intended for informational purposes only. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose, nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care of a licensed physician or mental health professional. This column and its author are not responsible for the outcome or results of following this advice. Readers assume complete responsibility for their own actions. If you have specific concerns for which you require professional help, please consult an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.

3 thoughts on “Masturbation, Aging, and Erectile Concerns

    • Author gravatar

      Beautifully stated! I hope this article will help other gents who are experiencing ED.

      • Author gravatar

        I really appreciate this perspective. I am a 70 year old gay man married to a woman (whom I have not had sex with in 15 years) and with whom I still have an intimate relationship with in all ways except sexual, and a boyfriend of 13 months with whom I have some kind of love making about once a week. He is 61 and we both have erectile concerns. I need to use either viagra or cialis to maintain an erection and have only penetrated him about 3 times. He usually sucks my penis and I cum that way, which is very pleasurable. He has only cum once or twice, and yet I enjoy many things such as massaging his penis, sucking his penis, etc. Kissing deeply is our favorite pastime. We explore different things and often enjoy physical touch in any way, shape, or form with one another. As was stated so well here in this article, there are many ways of intimate physical pleasure. Keep exploring and discovering what you and your partner (male or female) like. I can cum soft and that is good. The different stages of our body in our life is important to understand, accept, and enjoy. My boyfriend and I love each other very deeply and enjoy our love making in all its forms, for example, sometimes just cuddling.

    • Author gravatar

      This is such a great article! As we age, we all see things take a dip from where they used to be when we were younger , when things came naturally, no pun intended. Part of the aging process includes new ways of finding our satisfaction and how we go about it. The beauty in that, is that we open ourselves to new experiences and a greater potential of learning what feels good or even better for our own bodies. Everything in life changes. Adaptation can lead to great learning experiences!

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